The recent California fires have left countless families devastated, their homes and cherished memories reduced to ashes. For my family and me, we were among the fortunate ones—our home was spared. But for many of our friends, everything changed in an instant. I will never forget the moment when the young family of three, who had evacuated with us—parents holding their toddler close—learned that their home was gone. Their pain was palpable, and I felt a deep sense of helplessness.

This experience is reminding me once again the importance of learning how to truly show up for my friends and help them through moments of loss and heartbreak. I’ve learned that whether you’re supporting someone who’s lost a home or helping someone navigate a different kind of grief, the most powerful thing you can do is to be a calm, compassionate presence.

These tips are here to help you do just that:

1. Acknowledge the Difficulty of Showing Up
When someone is in pain, it’s natural to feel at a loss for words. Many of us worry we’ll say the wrong thing or make things worse. But showing up, even imperfectly, is more powerful than we realize.
What to Say Instead of “I’m Sorry”:
* “I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you, but I’m here to listen.”
* “You don’t have to go through this alone—I’m with you.”
Whether the loss is a home, a loved one, or a sense of safety, the most healing thing you can do is simply acknowledge their pain and remind them they’re not alone.

2. Offer Specific, Practical Help
When someone is overwhelmed by grief or trauma, decision-making can feel impossible. Instead of asking, “What do you need?” offer concrete help.
Ways to Be Proactive:
* “I’m making dinner tonight—can I bring you some?”
* “I’ll help you research housing options this weekend.”
* “I’m heading to the grocery store—what can I pick up for you?”
This tip applies to any situation of loss, whether someone is navigating the aftermath of a disaster or struggling after a breakup or job loss. Small, specific actions ease their burden and show you care.

3. Connect Them With Resources
Sometimes, the best way to help is to connect someone with professional or community resources. Here are a few for those impacted by the California fires:

Pasadena Community Foundation
Supports local recovery efforts and disaster relief.
www.pasadenacf.org
Pasadena Humane
Provides shelter and care for pets displaced by fires.
Address: 361 S Raymond Ave, Pasadena, CA 91105
www.phsspca.org
Foothill Unity Center
Offers food, housing assistance, and basic necessities for families in crisis.
Address: 415 W Chestnut Ave, Monrovia, CA 91016
www.foothillunitycenter.org
For broader contexts of loss, this might mean recommending a grief counselor, financial advisor, or other professional support based on their needs.

4. Take Care of Yourself While Supporting Others
It’s easy to focus entirely on the person in pain, but being a steady support requires taking care of your own emotional health.
Self-Care Tips for Caregivers:
* Pause and Reflect: Take a moment to breathe deeply and let go of the pressure to “fix” their pain.
* Lean on Your Own Support Network: Talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling.
* Set Boundaries When Needed: It’s okay to step back and recharge if you’re feeling overwhelmed.
These practices aren’t just about being a better friend—they’re about preserving your own well-being, so you can continue showing up for the people who need you.

5. Broaden the Lesson: Supporting Loss in Any Form
Although this blog focuses on recent fires, these tips apply to any kind of loss. Loss comes in many forms—grieving a loved one, experiencing divorce, losing a job, or even facing a health challenge.
The common thread? In all these situations, people need kindness, empathy, and practical help. By showing up authentically, listening without judgment, and offering specific support, you can be a source of light during someone’s darkest moments.

Let’s Rebuild Hope Together
If this blog resonates with you, consider sharing it with your friends and community. Together, we can create a culture of care and compassion that extends beyond disasters and into everyday life.

If you’re navigating a loss yourself or want to learn how to show up for others, I invite you to schedule a free consultation with me. Let’s explore how you can support others while building your own emotional resilience.

Visit huangjenny.com to learn more about my coaching services and resources.